Why LGBTQ-Affirming Couple’s Therapy is Different
Everyone has heard about the benefits of couple’s therapy: improving communication, resolving conflicts within a romantic relationship, improving sexual intimacy. Sure, couple’s therapy can be for any couple, at any age, at any stage in their relationship. But couple’s therapy for LGBTQ couples is different, as it should be.
Why is Couple’s Therapy for LGBTQ important?
Therapy can be particularly beneficial for LGBTQ couples because they may face unique challenges in their relationships.
These challenges can include:
Prejudice and discrimination: The most obvious difference with LGBTQ couples as opposed to heterosexual or cis-gendered couples is that the LGBTQ community still faces discrimination and prejudice in many areas of life, including their relationships. This can lead to general stress and tension within the relationship itself.
Coming out: Coming out as LGBTQ can be a difficult and stressful process, and the reactions of family and friends can have an impact on the relationship. If there are people who are not yet fully accepting of the person’s coming out, then there may be awkwardness or disapproval of the relationship that person is in.
Family and social support: LGBTQ individuals may not have the same level of family and social support as heterosexual individuals. This can put a strain on the relationship and make it harder to cope with everyday stresses.
Gender roles and expectations: Gender roles and expectations can be more complex in LGBTQ relationships, and this can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. Even though traditional gender roles are limiting, we also learn a lot about how to behave from watching other couples we know, and for LGBTQ couples, there may not be a lot of couples to use as a benchmark.
Unique challenges for transgender couples: Transgender couples may face additional challenges, such as navigating the transition process and coping with the effects of hormone therapy. Also, there may be complications with changing gender roles and expectations (See number 4).
Benefits of Couples Therapy for LGBTQ
Couples therapy can be particularly beneficial for LGBTQ couples because it provides a safe and supportive space to work through the challenges they face. Some of the benefits of couples therapy for LGBTQ couples include:
Improved communication: Couples therapy can help improve communication between partners, allowing them to express their needs and concerns more effectively.
Enhanced problem-solving skills: Couples therapy can teach partners how to work through conflicts and problems in a constructive way.
Increased intimacy: Couples therapy can help partners develop a deeper understanding of each other, leading to increased intimacy in the relationship.
Improved mental health: Couples therapy can help LGBTQ individuals cope with the stress and challenges of being in a same-sex relationship, leading to improved mental health outcomes.
What to Expect During Couples Therapy
Couples therapy typically involves meeting with a licensed therapist on a regular basis, often once a week. During these sessions, the therapist will work with the couple to identify areas of conflict and develop strategies for improving the relationship.
In the first few sessions, the therapist will typically focus on building trust and rapport with the couple. They will ask questions about the relationship, the challenges the couple is facing, and their goals for therapy.
Once the therapist has a good understanding of the couple's situation, they will work with the couple to develop a treatment plan. This plan will typically involve setting goals for therapy and developing strategies for achieving those goals.
Throughout the therapy process, the therapist will help the couple work through conflicts and develop communication skills. They may also provide education on LGBTQ issues and resources for coping with the unique challenges of being in a same-sex relationship.
Choosing a LGBTQ-Affirming Couples Therapist
When choosing a couples therapist, it is important to find someone who is experienced in working with LGBTQ couples. Look for a therapist who is knowledgeable about LGBTQ issues and has experience working with same-sex or transgendered couples - they will usually explicilty say this on their website or therapist profile. Review the therapist write up with your partner, making sure you are both feeling as though it is a good fit. It is also great practice to “interview” the therapist prior to meeting with them - as for a free consultation, which most therapists will provide.
During the therapy process, if you feel as though the therapist is not embracing the unique difficulties you and your partner face, you should bring this to the therapists attention so as to work collaboratively with them. If there is still a wall, where you or your partner feel as though there are hetero- or cis-gendered expectations or norms being pressured on you by the therapist, it’s time to find a new one!
Conclusion
Couples therapy can be an effective way for LGBTQ couples to work through the unique challenges they face in their relationships. By improving communication, problem-solving skills, and intimacy, couples therapy can help LGBTQ couples build stronger, healthier relationships. If you are an LGBTQ individual in a relationship and struggling with the challenges you face, consider reaching out to a licensed couples therapist who practices LGBTQ-affirming therapy.
Find out more about LGBTQ therapy at Brookhaven today.
